Letting it go

I am grateful for many things in my life. Lately I have been reflecting on all the people in my life, specifically our circle of friends. I know I have mentioned more than once how I stress over how people are going to react to Mary. I came to the conclusion that it's not Mary's behavior I am concerned with. It's mine, or what I think people with think of me. I guess I'm afraid they are going to feel uncomfortable with they way she is behaving or what she is saying, and that I am letting her, well, basically be herself.

We have a wonderful little circle of friends, and everyone loves and accepts Mary. Even my friends children are great with her. So why do I still fee this way? I know it is silly, and I don't think for a minute that any one of my friends feels uncomfortable with her. I have three other children, and there are things Mary will say or do that my other kids would never get away with. If it weren't for that, maybe I wouldn't worry so much. I just wouldn't know any better.

It amazes me how you can go on with a belief or behavior without consciously thinking how ridiculous it is. Then all of a sudden it hits you, and your like, "what the heck is wrong with you"! So now, when I start to head towards Mary to stop her, I will try to stop myself, and just let it go. I feel so blessed and grateful for all the people in our lives, that it will bring me to tears at times. I need to start thinking that maybe they are just as grateful to have us in their lives as well.

Back from the psychologist

Just got done with the psychologists evaluation/recommendations for Mary. We still have multiple disorders and unknowns. However, I am feeling a bit more hopeful again. My main concern right now is her destroying her clothes. Dr. seems to think it is a side effect from the ADD meds, which makes sense. When we increased the dosage, her picking at things became worse. So, we will call the pediatrician and change meds. Of course more therapies were recommended for Mary, like behavior therapy, occupational, blah, blah... Heard it all before. More testing is needed to determine Aspergers and Sensory processing disorder. I am truly convinced that we will always have to do more of this or that and never have a definitive diagnosis or treatment plan. So we will spend the summer meeting with more people, etc.. make sure we have her in the right school and so on. I guess the one truth we have is her brain is not functioning properly, it is like living with a toddler. Mary is stuck somewhere in the middle. She is not disabled enough to be considered extreme and she is not "normal", whatever that is these days.