Letting it go

I am grateful for many things in my life. Lately I have been reflecting on all the people in my life, specifically our circle of friends. I know I have mentioned more than once how I stress over how people are going to react to Mary. I came to the conclusion that it's not Mary's behavior I am concerned with. It's mine, or what I think people with think of me. I guess I'm afraid they are going to feel uncomfortable with they way she is behaving or what she is saying, and that I am letting her, well, basically be herself.

We have a wonderful little circle of friends, and everyone loves and accepts Mary. Even my friends children are great with her. So why do I still fee this way? I know it is silly, and I don't think for a minute that any one of my friends feels uncomfortable with her. I have three other children, and there are things Mary will say or do that my other kids would never get away with. If it weren't for that, maybe I wouldn't worry so much. I just wouldn't know any better.

It amazes me how you can go on with a belief or behavior without consciously thinking how ridiculous it is. Then all of a sudden it hits you, and your like, "what the heck is wrong with you"! So now, when I start to head towards Mary to stop her, I will try to stop myself, and just let it go. I feel so blessed and grateful for all the people in our lives, that it will bring me to tears at times. I need to start thinking that maybe they are just as grateful to have us in their lives as well.

Making friends

Mary has always been very friendly, but has never really had a "friend". This year, a girl in the neighborhood started going to Mary's school. I take both girls to and from school each day . I was thrilled to see Mary interact with this girl, they both seemed to understand each other and not get bothered by the sometimes off the wall conversations. Mary also opened up at school, her teachers where pleased with how she grew socially. Even her reading voice became louder, the teachers could finally hear her. I know having this friendship helped Mary to not feel so different. Now, like her brother and sisters, she had friends. I was happy to see her not spend so much time alone. This girl also has a sister Mary's age , so everyday there was someone to play with.

Well, we have had to put the breaks on this situation. Mary has developed some negative behaviors and I have noticed changes in her attitude that I am not pleased with. There was an incident here in the neighborhood where one of the girls blamed Mary. Fortunately a neighbor witnessed the whole thing and Mary had nothing to do with it. Mary however, was traumatized! It was impossible to help her understand that we knew she didn't do anything wrong. Both of these girls have had a rough upbringing, they are being raised by their grandparents because mom has been deemed unfit. So, understandably there are behavior issues.

So, after talking with their Grandmother, I asked that she keep the girls from coming by everyday. Mary is so easily manipulated and very easily influenced, and I am afraid both of these girls have taken advantage of that fact. Even Grandma admitted to that, with explanation of course. I know that I cannot shelter Mary from everything, she needs to interact with other kids. I can however, do whatever it takes to make sure she is not taken advantage of. Mary is a wonderful mimic, she tends to take on the likes, dislikes and mannerisms of other people. They say it's because she doesn't know how to act like her own person. Something clinical like that.

Mary will start "play therapy" with a psychologist in August and I will do my best this summer to help her learn to be herself. To help her understand what it is like to have, and to be, a good friend. It's funny, because Mary has such a wonderful, unique personality all her own. It would be nice if everyone were a little more like Mary.