Tuesday, November 30, 2010


Once again, the holidays are upon us. Mary still believes in Santa. The Elf on the Shelf came out and sits on the shelf, and reports to Santa every night to let him know Mary has been a good girl. Mary knows he reports to Santa because when she wakes up, he is on a different shelf. Last night she asked me if Santa was real. I asked her if Santa didn't bring the presents, who did? she said, "you do". I gave her the same talk I gave all my kids, all about the magic of waking up and seeing all the gifts, no matter where they came from, Jesus' birthday, etc.. I really don't think she gave it a second thought, because she then proceeded to give the elf a note to take to Santa.

I don't know why, but this makes me sad. I think it makes me sad that I really don't know if, or when she will fully comprehend the whole Santa thing. It just doesn't seem right to continue making her believe, when clearly she has heard something that made her question whether he is real. I'm afraid trying to explain it to her will be confusing and possibly make her sad. There is a big part of me that wants her to always believe, not only to hold onto her innocence, but it helps to hold it over head as well! I won't even mention the fact that remembering to move the elf every night makes me crazy. I don't know how many times in the past I woke in the middle of the night to move him. Thank you Hallmark for coming up with the Elf on the Shelf!

I have never actually said the words to my other children, "no santa isn't real". As I said, I told them to remember the magic of it all, and to remember the real reason we celebrate Christmas. Like everything else with Mary, I guess I will do the same and just ride it out and wait for it all to resolve itself. After all, it always does.

Monday, November 15, 2010


As I write this I am still reeling in the fact that Mary has reached a milestone that has me, well, reeling. At 10 years old, puberty is in full swing, Mary is more developed than I was at 14. I know the day is going to come when she gets her period, and I am not looking forward to it. I still help Mary with her basic hygiene, from teeth brushing, face washing, (as we are battling acne!), washing her hair, and getting in all the nooks and crannies while showering. Tonight I realized it was time to shave her armpits. Yes, this has got me more perplexed than the thought of her getting her period!

I know I have to let Mary learn to take care of these things herself. I have been trying to give her more freedom in taking care of her body. I believe she is getting the hair washing thing down, I am not seeing greasy hair the next morning when she has washed it herself. She does fine on her body, but for some reason spends more time cleaning her feet?? However......The thought of having her shave! Nope, I told her under no circumstances is she to touch the razor without me. I realize that 10 is a little young, and with her developmental delays, its like expecting a 6 year old to shave. Knowing that makes me feel a whole lot better about not letting her do it herself. After all, it's a sharp object!! Thankfully, her legs don't look like they are in need of a shave, nor has she asked.

So my hope, and my fear is this, I hope since we are dealing with all this at such a young age, by the time Mary is a teenager, she will be an expert at taking care of herself. My fear is, what the hell am I going to be dealing with when she is a teenager!