Wednesday, January 11, 2012

Tear Jerker

Things have been kind of emotional around here for the past several days. My Mom was involved in a head on collision, that has left her unable to walk due to both her ankles being broken. I have been running around, trying to take care of as much as possible, so we can get her to an acceptable rehabilitation facility. This has been somewhat of difficult task, due to insurance and all that kind of stuff. Needless to say, dinners around here have been unappetizing to say the least. Pair that with Mommy not being her usual chipper self, and the children start to take notice. Poor Mary is thrown all off, she knows she should feel bad for Grandma and go with it, but the disruption to her regular routine has made her a bit cranky. 

My two older children also know Mommy is off, and they too, don't know exactly how to deal with it. So, they do what they do best, get goofy. Goofy, giggling, talking about silly things they did when they were little. Singing old Barney and Wiggles songs. Mary doesn't know if she wants to be mad at them for making so much noise, or laugh along with them. So she sits quietly. When the other two run upstairs to continue their antics, Mary looks at me, with a frown on her face and tears welling up in her eyes. This is what she says to me. "Mommy, I want to go back to the future (past) and be little again. I want to take back the memories of being little. I want to be a little girl again. I look at pictures of me as a little girl and wish I could have fun like that again. I want the memories back." Now I'm tearing up, and explaining to her that even though she is a big girl now, (11?) she can still have fun. "Look at Daddy, he's a grown man who still plays with video games and Legos, now please get off my lap, as you are crushing my legs." This made her giggle, and she went on as if she didn't have a care in the world.

That's what I love most about Mary, she has her moments of sadness, then quickly gets over them. I know she keeps them inside, but does not dwell on them, only brings them out when she needs help in dealing with certain situations. This little episode, will be mentioned by Mary either a week, month, or years from now. It amazes me what she retains. After about 10 minutes, she looks at me, tells me she is going to go upstairs to see what the kids are doing. "I want to bring back the memories", she says. Listening to the chaos ensue, I now have a smile on my face again.


Zibilee said...

Oh gosh! I didn't know that all this was going on with you guys right now! It does sound hard, and when it affects you, for sure the kids notice, and it affects them too. My daughter also seems aloof sometimes, but then she has these moments of perfect clarity and poignancy that just sort of blow me away. It sounds so sad that she is hungering like this for simpler times, yet, I think in a way, we all wish for that in our secret hearts. I will be thinking of you and praying for you. If you need anything, I am only an email away!

Sandy Nawrot said...

It is always the mom who bears the burden of all of it. I'm so sorry! I know this all has to be hard on you. I guess the beauty of Mary is that she is your reality check. Every mom needs one of those!