I have always tried to stay active and attempt to keep myself fit and healthy. When Mary was a baby and we got our first diagnosis of Developmental Delay and Hypotonia, I started working out vigorously. I went to the gym, got a personal trainer, and started lifting weights. It felt great to have control over something. I started to tell myself that I was doing it for Mary. We didn't know when, or how she would develop. So, every time I worked on my legs, I would push myself as if I could will her legs to grow to be strong. Same thing with my arms, and so on. Now, I did not end up with this perfect hard body, but I was happy. I never really struggled with my weight. I go through stages like everybody else, hate my weight, love my weight etc.. At this point, I am just trying to maintain my weight. Basically, I exercise because I love food! I have also come to realize that my general frame of mind is better with exercise. I know when I started this blog, I was depressed. I also had not done much exercising in weeks! Feeling much better these days, thanks to my intense need to help Mary.
I have been going to the YMCA just about everyday for the last 2 weeks. In trying to keep Mary occupied, and from missing her "friends" too much, I figured an hour or two in the kids club would make her happy. It worked, even when I don't feel like going, I push myself for Mary. I realized today that I was pushing myself harder again. All with Mary's happiness on my mind. Once again, I feel like I have a bit of control, my mood is better, and I don't have to feel guilty when I polish off a pint of Ben & Jerry's. I hope that I can keep it up during the weeks I have her in camp.